Dads & Doulas: The Best Birth Team

Often dads are a little skeptical about doulas…
 
They wonder…
 
Will they take my place?
Isn’t that what nurses are for?
I don’t know if I want someone I don’t know in the room!
Can’t your mom/sister just be your doula?
 
But after a dad experiences the support of a doula, they become the doulas best supporter! So how does a doula support a dad?
 

1. They create the best birth team for mom!
   1. Both dad and doula desire to see the mom comfortable, safe, and secure.
2. Doulas help dad’s doula!
   1. A good doula will empower dad with tools, maneuvers, techniques, etc. to make him the ULTIMATE doula for his spouse!
3. Doulas give dad a break!
   1. It is exhausting to spending hours upon hours massaging, hip squeezing, stroking, or showering a mom while she labors - doulas give dad the opportunity to step away to do some self care - like stuff a sandwich down, grab a coffee, take a potty break - WITHOUT having to leave his partner alone. He can rest in the security of his teammate (the doula) that she has got his back!
4. Doulas help dads remember.
   1. When labor begins and it gets intense, it is common for all those birth blogs, birth books, birth classes to go flying out the mental window – a doula can provide informational support throughout the process. She can also remind you not to forget the car keys (not that you would get to far without them), or your phone charger, or the camera, or your shoes (yes, I have seen a dad begin to leave without shoes)!
5. Doulas help dad enjoy the birth
   1. Doulas remove some of the anxiety of the birth experience; they provide emotional/relationship support to both mom and dad. They help dads feel able to participate in the birth experience without feeling overwhelmed and swallowed by all the unknowns.
6. Doulas keep dad calm
   1. When mom is moaning, fluid is leaking, bloody show is showing, it can seem a little much. A doula is there to remind dad that mom’s body is rocking this birth and showing all the amazing signs of labor progress.
7. Doulas can help Dads ask the right questions
   1. When decisions need to be made during the labor process a doula can remind dads to ask some simple questions to further understand what is being suggested by the staff.
      1. Is mom ok?
      2. Is baby ok?
      3. What are the benefits to moving forward with the suggestion?
      4. What are the risks associated?
      5. What alternatives are available?
      6. What if you did nothing, if you waited a little longer?
8. When the going gets tough, the tough get going
   1. Sometimes birth is a two-man team, especially during hard labor and transition. Mom might need her partner in her view, feeling that safety only he can provide, while the doula is providing physical comfort by massaging moms back. Or the opposite way, with the doula coaching mom saying “I’ve been there, I know what you are feeling, you’ve got this,” while dad is providing those strong hip-squeezes.

 
Doulas and dads make the BEST team!

If you are interested in meeting with a doula for a FREE consultation, please click here.